Well what got me into this rant is the very painful divorce my friend is going through. He married in October and divorced in April. In this duration he and his wife actually stayed together for about a month and a half. With his wife finishing her graduation and he getting posted to a new town they hardly spent time together. It has not transformed into a he said she said mud slinging match. Now both parties maybe at fault here but are 45 days enough for you to decide whether this person is so bad you could not spend your life with him.
Heck we give more time to our maid servants for them to learn the going ons in our house; Most companies give more time to their employees as probation period. My take on this is that the level of tolerance in most of humankind is at an all time low. She does not put the lid on the sugar after she makes tea TALAAK... He does not want to relocate to a bigger town to pursue HER dreams TALAAK... They don't like the shade of each other eyes TALAAK.
Now thats not to say that people don't genuinely have problems. There are abusive relationships which must end but those even now are still exceptions rather than the rule. Divorce nowadays are really of mundane things which with proper counseling can be sorted out. But counseling is still like a cuss word in India. More in the lines of only mad people see shrinks. So people divorce.
My first thought regrettably when I hear of such an event is the loss both parties had to incur during the wedding. The expensive reception, the three hundred and thirty six thousand photos everyone clicked with the tired looking bride and groom and also the gifts they got. There should be a diktat that if the marriage does not last atleast a year everyone gets their gifts back.
Jokes aside through experience I learned that love or arranged the first year of marriage is the most troublesome. Lots of hope, expectations and misunderstandings. Insecurity in the relations as well as other familial aspirations are a cause of friction. Like churning butter with a lot of froth before and then solid creamy butter. I guess people don't have the urge to wait for the cream anymore. They give up at the froth. Increasingly nuclear families with no one to play referee causes more problems. So whats the solution. Well frankly I don't know. Maybe pre marital counseling or pre divorce counseling may help too but majorly if every person getting married realizes that their partner will not be a xerox copy of their personalities then maybe they will learn to be more forgiving and accepting.
